Saturday, March 10, 2007

Soylent green is people!

That's all I could think when I read this story about Ventria's new genetically modified rice with human genes.

Of course, the joke doesn't quite work, because the rice is intended solely for manufacturing medicine, not consumption. But I'm convinced that the ultimate goal here isn't to make medicine for third world countries, as the article suggests. Had that been the true goal, they would have put the genes in crabgrass or plankton or sardines. You know, things nobody would consider eating.

No, this is a shot directly across the vegetarians' bow. Put enough human genes in your vegetables, and you end up with carrots that scream when you try to eat them.

Meanwhile, PETA is trying to shame Al Gore into adopting a vegetarian lifestyle. That makes all kinds of sense to me. There are billions of cows on this planet, each belching out methane (a stronger greenhouse gas than CO2) at a prodigious rate. Also, vast swaths of land are being deforested to create grazing land in South America, so they can ship beef northward to feed our already chubby butts. A worldwide shift to a vegetarian diet would probably reduce the amount of economic activity needed to feed humanity by an order of magnitude. Plus, rodeo clown unemployment would skyrocket. So really, there are no downsides!

Mister Gore, as one of the most influential people in the environmental movement, you could do great good by drawing attention to the environmental effects of the meat industry. Also, it would be a great personal favor, as I'm currently heavily invested in tofurkey futures. Put down the burger and back away slowly!

3 comments:

Leon said...

I, for one, am very unlikely to ever convert to vegitarianism. If God didn't want us to eat cows, he wouldn't have made them so tasty.

Bryce said...

Are you sure you want to go down that path, Leon? Because if we're talking about the motivations and intentions of divine beings, I have conclusive evidence drawn from The Bible Code, the Kaballah, and the writings of the ancient seer and mystic, Habeeb the Existential. It all points to one conclusion: every evening, after a hard day's judging and smiting, Yahweh sits down to a meal of textured soy protein.

Crunchy Hippie Mom said...

Yeah, I'm actually kind of pissed that Al Gore eats meat.